Posted in flashback, poetry, Quotes

#OctPoWriMo5 – So Many Doors

“Zeal is a volcano, the peak of which the grass of indecisiveness does not grow.”

Khalil Ghibran

So many possibilities to choose from
Caught in the web of analysis paralysis
Which door will be right for me?
Each one presents an insightful experience
Curious to know what’s on the other side
Seeking a cure to my indecisiveness

Tick-Tock… Tick-tock…Tick-tock

Can I knock on each one and see if there’s any response?
Can I peek inside and if I don’t like it, can I just pop back out?
What if I took some time to hang out behind one door?
Contemplating the consequences of choosing one door over another
What’s worse is if I didn’t choose any door at all
As I’m pacing in chaotic, deep thought,
I hear a set of keys jingling in my pocket
Aha! Which doors can these open?

Tick-Tock… Tick-tock…Tick-tock

Time to walk confidently in the chosen path
Decision is transformed into a courageous undertaking
One that shapes my destiny and gives me inner peace
Freedom to learn from the outcomes outweighs the risk of regret
Future is built from committed present actions
Tenacity and attitude fuels purpose-filled grace

Day 5 – Bop
Posted in Culture, Dance, flashback, Music

30-Day Song Challenge: Day 30

Who am I right now? That’s a good question!

So the finale of this challenge is a song that reminds me of myself! Of course, it just can’t be one! I’m a multi-faceted person! 😀 There are times when I wonder if that’s difficult to do since I sometimes find myself trying to be like someone else. It’s fun to imagine as if you’re someone else for a day, but not at the expense of losing yourself!

This past month I’ve shared with you music from a variety of artists who’ve impacted my life. I wondered where I would exactly fall by the end of this challenge. So, without further ado, here are a few songs that remind me of myself!

All my life, I’ve been motivated to help the unfortunate and suffering. I also strive to help make this world a better place. My goals and actions have been oriented towards leaving a positive impact and caring for others. I think Beyonce captures my purpose in life, many of my life experiences, and my feelings as she sings “I Was Here” during United Nations World Humanitarian Day in 2012.

My spirit takes flight with loved ones encouragement and surrounding yourselves with the right people can make you feel alive!

Tim McGraw expresses what I want to live by for the rest of my life in his song “Humble and Kind” because I never know what every person that I meet may be going through right now.

I feel like the rest of my life is unwritten and undefined. I’m the author of my own story, and no one else can feel what I’m feeling.

Show the room what you can do. Meghan Trainor’s song expresses my love for dance and everything I feel while I’m dancing! I also love to help people have fun when they’re in a slump. 🙂

What does it mean to give faith a fighting chance? When one door closes, another opens. I try hard not to take my only life for granted.

I wanna go wherever you want to go.” I think Yuna represents my artsy, carefree side, filled with beauty, flowers, travel, and companionship as she sings in a soft spoken voice. Hanging out in a coffee shop, riding a skateboard around town, painting outside in a park, taking photos in black and white, and long walks on the beach is something I would totally do on my days off when I’m not trying to save the world. 😉 I think this is the side of me that you see me share most often on my blog.

When I was 14, I created a marble maze for an science experiment. The end goal was to create a maze that would take a long time for the marble to go through. I was pretty excited and worked on it for weeks. I asked the pizza place if they could give me an empty pizza box for a school project. I used a deck of cards to create various walls and I took a huge poster board, cut some conic shapes, and created a huge funnel.

When I first watched this video of Wintergatan’s marble machine instrument, it brought back those wonderful memories. It reminds me of myself because of the gears that are always turning and the curiosity I have with all the various pieces of life. I love to think and tinker with things and create some magic in the process.

Marble Machine – Wintergaten

Alright guys! I’m going to wrap this challenge up! I may have over done it, but it was a lot of fun as I relax from school and work! I never thought I would be able to keep a 30 day streak! Thank you again for joining me on this journey! I’ve also enjoyed listening to the music that has meant so much to all of you. I hope I can catch up reading your posts soon when the craziness of the holidays winds down. 🙂

I’m going to wish you all an early happy new year! ❤

Posted in awareness, Culture, Events, flashback, Quotes

A Promise to Raise Awareness

TRIGGER WARNING- This blog post and pages it links to contains information about suicide which may be upsetting to some people.

A few weeks ago, I came across Winnie’s post who re-blogged an excellent post, “Before You End Your Life” written by Accidental Blogger. Please read it if the following points apply to you:

Are you at the lowest of your life right now? 
Does everything seems to be falling in front of you?
Have you lost faith in yourself?
Do you feel like taking your own life & end everything? 

After reading Jenna’s riveting post, “Speaking My Truth: Suicide Awareness and Prevention“, I learned that  Nov.17th was National Survivors of Suicide Day aka International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day. 

I chatted with her about awareness, and I decided to create a new category on my blog. There are several causes that are close to my heart, but haven’t shared them due to cultural upbringing. Slowly testing new waters here! 

I came across this blog post by Jason Muckley from Poems for Warriors  posted a quote by Maya Angelou that seemed to be a game changer for me.

Between my studies this week, I want to share a few stories like I always do and take the time to reflect on important memories in my life. I’ve worked on this post little by little feeling a lot of things in small doses. Names have been changed. I don’t know if these people know how much they mean to me or how much they have touched my life.  I want to tell you how much I love you. ❤ There’s a ripple effect when someone  commits suicide. Everyone who has known a person who struggled with it will know that feeling. I’ve explored that in my own relationships.

Childhood Crush
“There’s an emergency! Liam passed out in the bathroom!!”

I looked up from my assignment and saw my classmate yelling at our fourth grade teacher pleading for help for his best friend. “No, it couldn’t be.” I was numb and distraught because I harbored a silent crush on Liam ever since I met him. 

Liam didn’t hold back just because I was a girl when we played basketball. He gave it his all and played aggressively on the court which in turn made me a better player. He defended me when some girls decided to pick on me. He was always the cool, confident boy that both girls and guys liked.

I found out that Liam tried to kill himself while taking a restroom break.  Here was a guy who I thought nothing could faze him. His best friend told me that his father recently killed himself, and Liam blamed himself for everything. I felt so fragile knowing that Liam was going through this pain, and I had no idea how to help him. It was the first time I heard of the term suicide.

I was so rattled that I was the last person to finish the writing portion of a standardized test a few weeks later. I was sweating, crying, and could hardly focus on the assigned prompt. The teachers proctoring the exam spoke among themselves. Writing usually came naturally to me, yet it was unbearably difficult that day.

Cousin
I found out my cousin’s girlfriend broke up with him causing a severe depression. He told his mom that he wanted to kill himself. His mom was surprised that her normally happy son felt this way. My aunt took him to a suicidal ideation treatment center & hospital where he stayed for several weeks.

News reached out to the rest of us like a ripple effect. We were all really worried. I grew up with him. I had a blast playing video games with him growing up. When he was finally discharged, he was never quite the same. When I smiled at him during one family reunion, I was grateful that he smiled back.  I hugged him. I was glad he was back.


Colleague
One day I was walking to school, and I noticed several police officers stationed at the apartment adjacent to us. Brilliant math student died by suicide that afternoon. His classmates felt like he had everything going for him, and didn’t understand what happened or why he felt that way. Yet, so much was going on the university campus that year. The student body was in a perpetual state of frenzy. Students were protesting about tuition hikes and slept outside to make a statement. Political climate was toxic at the time.


Friend
“Trick or treat!” My friend opened the door and showed off her skeleton makeup. She had invited me over for a small Halloween get together one year. 

When I first met her, she had this awesome rocker chick vibe. Her witty remarks easily made me laugh. Her humor was tinged with a sharp intelligence. I was fascinated by her essence and the impressive insights she shared in class. Her poetry was exquisite and the structure of them was captivating! I admired her boldness and outspokenness.

One day at 3 am, she sent me a chilling message informing me that she was in the hospital because she attempted suicide and thanked me for being a good friend. She now works for Americorp helping kids, published a book, won a few awards, and lives a life with purpose and gratitude. I’m so proud of her.

Suicide can affect anyone from any background at any time in his or her life.
You are not weak when you are asking for help.


If you need help, please call or text this number
 1-800-273-8255 for the National Suicide Prevention Line.