Posted in Books, Concepts, Culture, flashback, Quotes

3.2.1-Quote Me: Conversations

“The void created by the failure to communicate is soon filled with poison, drivel, and misrepresentation.” – C. Northcote Parkinson

When I was a teenager, I sat in the dining room studying for my exams when all of the sudden I hear a door slammed across the hall. Several arguments took place. My brother was angry, but gave up in attempting to engage in a conversation about the problem with my parents who were at a loss as to what to do.

inside-out-anger-poster
Pixar’s Inside Out – Anger

“They had lived together for so many years that they mistook their arguments for conversation.” – Marjorie Kellogg

I recognized that there were cultural differences. My parents grew up thinking that stoicism was normal. You weren’t suppose to cry Growing up, my siblings and I had difficulty expressing anger which was the “ugly emotion”. It would get bottled up, and we had difficulty communicating what precisely was bothering us.

My family recognized me as the peacemaker. I remember going into my brother’s room and gently reopening the painful conversation. I listened to his perspective and tried to understand his feelings. I looked for a mutual purpose for our conversation.

I’ll never forget the importance of how the right conversations can help someone feel better. My parents have opened up to the idea that conversations and expressing emotions can be healthy and helpful. Some fresh air and a walk in the park surrounding ourselves in nature cleared our heads as well. 🙂

walk.jpg

I would like to thank Dr. Tanya who blogs on Salted Caramel for tagging me in the prompt: 321 Quote Me – Conversation created by A Guy called Bloke and K9 Doodlepip! Great topic by the way! Here are the rules:

Rules: 3.2.1 Quote Me!

Thank the Selector
Post 2 quotes for the dedicated Topic of the Day.
Select 3 bloggers to take part in ‘3.2.1 Quote Me!’

Note: Although this is the topic for today there is no specific deadline to it, meaning you can answer as and when.
Please Note l will be reblogging your responses unless you wish for me to NOT do so.

Coincidentally, I recently read an excellent book that was recommended to me by one of my management professors called “Crucial Conversations” written by Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, Al Switzler. There are various helpful tips that can help salvage difficult situations and have helped me in my personal life. According to the back flap, you can…

crucialcDiscover how to communicate best when it matters most:
1) Prepare for high-stakes situations with a proven technique
2) Transform anger and hurt feelings into powerful dialogue
3) Make it safe to talk about almost anything
4) Be persuasive, not abrasive

So, you may ask what makes for a crucial conversation as opposed to a casual one?
1) Opinions vary
2) Stakes are high
3) Emotions run strong

The summary at the end of chapter 1 emphasizes the importance of handling crucial conversations.

“Ironically, the more crucial the conversation, the less likely we are to handle it well. The consequences of either avoiding or fouling up crucial conversations could be severe. When we fail a crucial conversation, every aspect of our lives can be affected- from our careers, to our communities, to our relationships, to our personal health.” – Pg. 16 of Crucial Conversations

One TV character who I think is skilled in handling crucial conversations is Elizabeth McCord from Madam Secretary, a high octane show where the stakes are definitely high. In every episode, I have watched Secretary McCord adroitly maneuver her way through some very difficult conversations with individuals who will flat out disagree with her.

Sea Change
“Sea Change”– When a storm destroys a naval base in Bahrain, Elizabeth urges President Dalton to overhaul foreign spending to address climate change, which could jeopardize his re-election campaign. Also, Jose Campos (Carlos Gomez) tries to bring Henry back to the DIA fold, and the McCords worry that their family is being stalked when they realized Jason’s laptop may have been hacked, on the third season premiere of MADAM SECRETARY, Sunday, Oct. 2 (9:00-10:00 PM, ET/PT) on the CBS Television Network. Pictured L-R: Téa Leoni as Elizabeth McCord and Zeljko Ivanek as Russell Jackson Photo: Sarah Shatz/CBS ©2016 CBS Broadcasting, Inc. All Rights Reserved

I would not recommend binge-watching a show like this. The interactions she faces would cause heart attacks. Sometimes, it seems surreal seeing how she responds every time. (Wait, yes…this entertainment is Hollywood after all! 🙂 ) I think tact is important and diplomacy comes at a very high premium when dealing with life or death situations which leads me to the quote below.

1. “Conversation, like certain portions of the anatomy, always runs more smoothly when lubricated.” – Marquis de Sade

Another important aspect to conversation is being receptive and actively listening to what the other person is saying.

2. “Listening is a magnetic and strange thing, a creative force. The friends who listen to us are the ones we move toward, and we want to sit in their radius. When we are listened to, it creates us, makes us unfold and expand.” – Karl Menniger

Angry birds_ management
Angry Birds – attending anger management class

 

Nominees:

Sana
Chiru
Sunshine Artist

Note: You don’t have to write as much as I did here! I just enjoy a good reflection chat! Looking forward to your posts!

I hope all of you engage in healthy, meaningful conversations! ❤

conv1
Leonid Afremov – “Conversation”